I have seen a LOT of postings lately about Islamic fashions. Abayas, scarves, pins, embellishments, flowers, doo-dads. It seems there are gazillions of styles, colors, and patterns, and some women seem to be interested in buying at least one of everything. Now, I know that it is normal for a woman to want to look nice, but I have to things to say. One, and this is the "serious Islamic thing". Our coverings should not be adornments in and of themselves. If you are dressing in a flashy way that sets you apart, singles you out, and makes men look at you, then you are defeating the purpose of hijab, even if you are technically covered in something long, flowing and not see-through.
Now, on a personal level. I have been Muslim for almost twenty years, by Allah's grace. I typically have no more than two or three abayas at any one time. I toss on the same ones when I go shopping or run to the post office. I have several scarves, mostly black, a few colorful ones, a couple that were given as gifts. I have plain tube scarf underscarves. I have boring plastic unadorned hijab pins. I usually wear sensible shoes.
I can tell you with the experience of my years as a Muslim, looking back, that I have NOT suffered emotionally because I "deprived" myself by not buying a bunch of abayas and scarves. My dress when I go out is always feminine, simple, clean, and attractive, mashaAllah, but after I check my look to make sure my hair is not showing and my hem is even, I don't give my clothing a second thought. I am not dressing to improve my self-esteem. I am not dressing so the non-Muslims can think I'm lovely and fashionable. I am not dressing to show my status at the masjid as a modish Muslimah. I am not dressing so a Muslim man will find his eye caught by my attire and think that my husband is a lucky man. I am dressing to be seen as a Muslim woman and to not reveal my beauty to those who do not have the right to see it.
So, how do I fulfill that girly side of me? I dress nicely at home FOR MY HUSBAND. I shop the thrift stores and find cute outfits that look nice that I can wear in front of my kids and still look decent for the hubby, but even there I have a very modest budget and I don't get a new outfit every day, or every week, or even every month. But if I AM going to make an effort to be stylish, I'm going to do it for the man who has the right to enjoy how I look.
I'm not saying this to make anyone feel bad or guilty, but I want everyone to stop and think. Before you buy that 40th scarf because it's the 'perfect' color to go with that abaya you wear once a year, before you drop $100 on a pair of shoes that have rhinestones and go click click click on the floor, before you embellish your hijab with big flowers and buy yet another purse, THINK. Where can that money be better used? I don't even have to tell you where there are people in need. Jersey, Palestine, Myanmar, Sudan, your own town, your own family. I know that if Allah blessed you with money it is yours to do with as you will, but your family has a right on you, your Ummah has a right on you, and if you can just think before you spend, and maybe instead you can send some money to a worthy cause, that will give you a much warmer glow than the scarf that you wear once and then toss mindlessly in a drawer. I remind myself before I remind anyone else.
Remember that our burial shroud is the only piece of clothing that goes with us into the grave, but our acts of charity live on. Not a rant, just an observation. I love all my brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah and I want the best for you in this world and the next.
By: Nancy Qualls-Shehata
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Oke, now time to check my credit card and keep it save!! no more shopping T_T
Dora
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